Prologue

A ‘lot’ to live up to and an ego to satisfy

It is going to be pretty hard to follow up what I wrote in ‘Ode to the species’ seeing as I analysed pretty much everything… but I’m sure there are other things than everything to discuss…. I can see that this is going to be tough.

I ended the previous series on a slightly more personal note though I like to think I still kept it quite general. Seeing as it was more of a universal work, I will probably focus on more down to Earth, smaller topics which are relatively important none the less. The topics will probably be somewhat more personal, others not so personal… described as somewhat more synthetic topics.

It seems that the more that is written, the harder I find it to produce ideas to write about it. Have I exhausted my idea well already? Have I peaked before I even gained a readership? I anticipate that the target audience for my writing is all of nobody and that I am really writing as if I am talking to myself. Perhaps blog-writing is just a less egotistical way of talking about ones’ life and thoughts. It’s just talking to oneself except it lacks the sound of my voice. Well, let’s (let’s? Who am I actually referring to here?) face it, my voice doesn’t really sound too great. I might as well go the rest of my life as a mute to clear the atmosphere of noise pollution. I would imagine that would have certain setbacks in the whole ‘quality of life’ department, but perhaps I could use one of those synthetic voices, like the one that Stephen Hawking uses. Or I could somehow get hold of a prosthetic voice box, with a voice-style of my choice! I could sound like Steven Fry, or Patrick Stuart! This is all jolly exciting; perhaps I shall google the prosthetic voice-box.

In the belittling realm of everything, perhaps such a prosthesis is too much to ask for. It would be wise to be happy with what I’ve got, as to try and change what is already serving me well could end in me having nothing at all. This could be interpreted as a ‘the grass is greener’ scenario. Well, the grass is always greener-at least greener in the way that it is perceived to be greener regardless of the reality of the situation on the other side. Once again, it is just referring to my ‘Ode to the Species’ text… Could it be that I covered too much in The Ode and now I am doomed to spend my life living in repetition? Will I have to read the same newspaper, eat the same breakfast, break the same vase, laugh at the same ‘Charlie Brookers Newswipe’ episode from now into eternity? I don’t think so. Incidentally, the best way to experience such a dull, repetitive meaningless life is gain employment at SportsDirect as one of those employees who is supposed to pick up the fallen T-Shirts and restack shoes which have been half eaten due to being the subject of a customer brawl, not too dissimilar from two bulldogs fighting over a choice steak. Were the prior notion correct, ‘A Collection of Hearts and Prosthetics’ probably wouldn’t have a title (or even exist for that matter) Inspiration has come knocking at my door, and my thoughts will be spraying all over the screen as if I had just slit an artery. Never Fear! Captain Nitrogen is here!